By Jenny Lang, Delightful Oak
Writing as yourself is ten times harder than writing anonymously, I don’t recommend it, ha! No really, when I began writing, I had a lot of pain to work through, I had a lot of questions. It was nice to have the freedom of anonymity, but you and I both know how God works. He gently asks us for more, and He waits patiently to see how we respond. It’s easy to be brave when no one knows who you are, but writing as yourself requires courage. Your children,your friends, your family will all be able to read what you’ve written. You know words are powerful and can hurt people or they can build people up and free them. Words are weighty things and I have a lot of issues to work through. I don’t want to dump my bad into other people’s lives, but I love working through my thoughts and my relationship with God in my writings. It’s a delicate balance and I haven’t quite figured it out yet.
If you ask me why I switched I might say because my oldest daughter suddenly learned how to read over my shoulder.
or maybe I didn’t like having to hide a huge part of my life from my friends and family.
or ……
I still think about switching back to anonymity all the time, it’s easier, much more freedom, no accountability.
But God is working on my heart, and He’s telling me “do not fear” and people I know keep asking me when I’m going to write a book and I respond “What? I’m not a writer.”
But then these intense moments happen, when I’m all alone, or when we’ve finished singing praise songs at church where the leader asks “how can you serve God, what is the thing you’re afraid to do?” and the idea of writing a book pops into my head, and I tell God, “I’m not a writer, what are you talking about?”
So I tell my husband that I think God wants me to write a book, but I have no idea what it’s going to be about….and I think “who writes a book without having a topic first?” and I think, “perhaps it’s not my book, perhaps it’s God’s book and he’s just using my fingers to do the typing……then I wake up every morning with an intense desire to write, not sure if I can breathe for the day until I get some words onto paper first. Who is this person?
I don’t have the courage part figured out. I have no idea how to write about all these pressing questions and passions I have without hurting people. But I do notice I’m passionate, I’m passionate about helping women, and I’m passionate about saving marriages, and I’m passionate about following the word of God no matter how embarrassing it may be. Do you know how crazy the world reacts when you just say the word submission?
This writing thing has been an unexpected journey, one I didn’t plan on, but is exciting and fun. It’s a gift, one that I’m so thankful to be able to participate in. Sometimes you need to close your eyes, pick up a pen and jump afraid. Jump off the cliff that’s right in front you of you and trust God to do the rest.
So what’s the next scary step God is nudging you to do?